


what you ache for

by soetry



Series: like a fool for love [2]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alpha Charles Xavier, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bathroom Sex, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Omega Erik Lehnsherr, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Scenting, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Somewhat, a plot actually kicked in on this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:02:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29017074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soetry/pseuds/soetry
Summary: Erik’s eyebrows furrowed. “Did I keep you up too late?”I wish you did, Charles thought depressingly to himself.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Series: like a fool for love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128761
Comments: 23
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> back with the sequel to my gratuitous smut fic!! you don't have to read that one to follow this one, but this fic takes place directly after that one, and i think it's a better read that way!
> 
> title's from Oriah Mountain Dreamer's poem, "The Invitation", just as the first fic's title was. hope you enjoy :)

It was almost five AM when Charles gave up on trying to fall asleep again.

Charles buried his face in his hands, scrubbing harshly at his eyes as he sat up. It was insanity — there was no question about it. Erik Lehnsherr was driving Charles Xavier _insane_.

A couple of hours of the night were spent at the labs on campus, until Charles invited the other back to his place for dinner — Erik, of course, accepting easily and _platonically_. Erik, who had the endearing quirk of weaving an invisible thread between his fingers with a levitated coin. Erik, who liked to argue at lengths on mutant and omega rights, who gave Charles a run for his money on all forms of activism. Erik, who wore turtlenecks to curb his scent. Erik, whose mind was the most intriguing that Charles had ever encountered. 

Erik, the omega who didn’t date alphas.

Ignoring his blatant erection, Charles took a deep breath and stumbled out of bed. He leaned against the wall for a moment, focusing on his hormones and attempting to quell them down, but as soon as his eyes shut, he was gone. The curse of being both a genius and a telepath? An infallible memory.

_“I’ll try to do better,” Erik joked, looking at him from underneath his eyelashes._

_Charles stared for a moment too long, then looked away hurriedly as Erik’s expression gradually grew confused at his silence._

_“Yes, well,” he cleared his throat, “anyways_ — _”_

Charles’s teeth grit down, hard, and he forced his eyes open. His cock, without his permission, swelled. Every moment spent thinking of Erik, gorgeous, strong Erik, sent him down a spiral that felt like seconds away from a rut. 

God, _Erik_.

Charles slammed a palm down to his cock, attempting to curb his arousal — a pointless endeavor, but still, one he felt necessary, because _damn it_ , Erik would be disgusted if he knew that Charles was doing this, wouldn’t he? Erik, who had _fought_ alphas in both self-defense and for other omegas. Erik, who could have any alpha he wanted, but only dated betas. Erik, who is the most independent person Charles knows, much more the most independent omega.

Erik, who had gotten Charles to go insane within a week of knowing him. Six months further, Charles was _lost_.

“ _Erik_ ,” he breathed out, and the room rang with his pathetic longing.

His cock wasn’t going to allow him to ignore it, so Charles shoved his boxers down and viciously gripped his length dry. The pain slightly dampened his arousal, but he wasn’t about to give up when he’d already given in. Spitting once in his palm, he wrapped his hand around it again, giving it a firm stroke, hissing under his breath. In an attempt to keep his mind unfocused on _him_ , Charles paid full attention to the feeling. His skin, sliding up and down with each jerk, the feeling of his knot edging up in his testicles, teasing what would happen if an omega was present. Precome beads as he gives his all to the motion, and with the assistance of the liquid, he makes a wide circle with his fingers and lets his hips take over — he indulges himself, his inner alpha fueling his movements until his hips start thrusting easily, and he chases his climax with no certain finesse. Exhaling slowly, he feels it building up, and he shoves his hips harder, harder, and it feels so _good_ , so good, Charles’s pleasure builds, and —

_It was mid-evening, and they were eating in Charles’s flat, which was considerably bigger than Erik’s on-campus dorm. Erik, coming from... not Charles's background, still resided in the despicable dormitories assigned to omegas, in the center of campus as a source of ‘protection’ — in truth, it was that the university was repeatedly praised for forward-thinking and parading their brilliant omegas as the stars was a great public appeal. Erik showed no small amount of distaste for it, though he rarely voiced his complaint as it went hand in hand with him getting his own place, which they both knew he couldn’t afford, not with what the fraudulent garage he worked at paid him._

Live with me, _was on the tip of Charles’s tongue every time they visited Erik’s dorm. Erik just fit in his flat, in an inexplicable way that was as revelatory as it was so boringly indisputable._

Live with me, _he wanted to scream. He could probably get away with it. Erik had no shame in considering Charles as a friend — he was almost smug, walking around with Charles, certainly because it was clear that they walked as equals, so defiant, and Erik was proud of being a part of their friendship. So Erik trusted him. Erik trusted him with his tragic past, with his secrets, with his smiles, which he never gave to other alphas. And if Charles said, “Erik, I’ve seen how much you despise your dorm. It’s entirely up to you, but if you want, you could live with me. I have enough room, you know that”, it was entirely possible that Erik would reject him half-heartedly until he eventually replied, “Charles… Thank you. I’ll pack my bags as soon as possible. Thank you.” And then he’d live with Charles, be with Charles, sleep within meters of Charles, and that would be —_

_Charles snapped out of it, eyes landing on Erik. He sat there, brow furrowed at the work in front of him, chewing on a french fry, and him being there was normal, though it was never a sure thing._

_“Let me help you,” Charles murmured, roughly, reaching out to gently take over where Erik was wincing through a formula. His attitude and his actions with Erik were so contradictory._

_Mindlessly, he leaned into Erik’s space, writing down his thoughts, when Erik immediately pulled back, and Charles’s heart_ ached _while his brain fired off flares, but it was too late._

_His head flew up, and Erik’s scent flooded his nose._

_He was vaguely aware that he was doing the right thing by scooting away, but his mind was focused entirely on that strong scent, the most infuriating thing about Erik because it_ clearly _complimented his own, but what? Erik never noticed? It killed Charles, it sent him into madness, it teased his aggressive instincts and made him want to scream at Erik, tell him to stop ignoring it,_ this _, no matter how much Erik would hate him afterward. Erik was perfect, but more importantly, he was perfect for_ Charles _, and every time his scent filled Charles’s senses, Charles felt an unnerving amount of possessiveness overtake him. He never wanted anyone but him to scent Erik — it was no one’s right other than his own to taste his skin._

 _Blinking, he looked up at Erik, and a genuine grin stretched his cheeks. Because, though_ he _may not get Erik, no other alpha was going to get him, either. Both because of Erik’s resolve, and Charles’s own selfish drive._

Charles’s hips jerked, and he moaned, loud and shameless, at the mere thought of Erik’s scent, of his skin. His orgasm approached, and he didn’t care much for urging it back. He had enough nights of fantasizing about taking Erik apart, bit by bit, that finishing off quickly wouldn’t be too much of a loss. 

“Erik,” he hissed out, twisting his fingers as he stroked the head of his cock.

God, Erik would hate him for that, wouldn’t he? That, not only did Charles want him ( _wanted to scent him, wanted to knot him, wanted to mate with him_ ), but Charles knew that Erik would hate him for it and _still_ indulged himself most nights. Still fantasized about the most basic mating encounters. Imagined Erik waiting for him at their home, his tiny, omega hole wet and ready for the taking. Imagined Erik going down on him, sucking him like it was the only thing he wanted to be doing, pleasuring his alpha. Imagined Erik letting him lick his slick straight from the source, sucking it out like it was a drug, feeding Charles’s endless lust. Imagined Erik riding him because he wanted Charles to relax but he was still so horny, whispering, _“I want it so bad, Charles. I want your knot so bad.”_ Imagined Erik presenting his neck so desperately. Imagined Erik in heat.

Or maybe the omega wouldn’t even care. He wouldn’t get angry, he would just… once again, be disappointed by another alpha. Charles was one of the relatively few alphas on earth to not condone practicing the traditionalist alpha/omega customs, but when he was like this — when he was alone in his room in the early AMs, where four walls guarded him, wanting Erik but knowing he couldn’t have him — it was easy to think about tracking Erik’s mother down, requesting his arm as some families still do. With Charles’s prestige, no family would say no, would they? It’d be arranged just like that, and Erik would be his, just like that. _His_. And he’d be damned if another alpha tried to ruin it, he would… The things he would do for Erik’s Marking gland. 

He would break all of his morals (break all of another alpha’s bones) for Erik’s Marking gland.

With his mother’s blessing, maybe Erik would go all the way. Go on all fours, in the traditional mating position, and take Charles’s knot eagerly as if he believed in the omega tales. And then, once Charles’s seed was deep in him, Erik tilting his neck to the side, eyes catching on Charles’s, before shutting them, his Marking gland bare. _“Please mate me, alpha_ ,” was the traditional phrase. Charles would accept a _‘do it_ ’, as long as it was from Erik _._

_“Erik.”_

Charles’s cum splattered across his bare chest.

It took a minute for him to collect himself against the wall. As always, when his thoughts turned to Erik during masturbating (as was now the norm), a certain degree of emptiness filled the pit of his stomach when reality hit him. Erik would never want an alpha. Rightfully so, the disgusting, oppressive idiots that Charles’s type was. Erik would _never_ want an alpha.

Erik would never want _him_.

Teeth gritted, he took a harsh breath in before looking down at his stomach. The cum splattered there taunted him loudly — there were at least ten omegas and betas that would text him back to meet that night, but instead, he was having wet dreams about the most unattainable omega on Earth. 

“Of course,” he sighed to himself, smiling bitterly. “Of course. _Erik Lehnsherr._ ”

He smeared the cum on his stomach into his skin, looking away. All of a sudden, the room was closing in on him, and he felt stifled. Shoving clothes on, Charles grabbed his phone and keys and left the apartment, his scent slightly stronger because of his lack of a wash, but he was too tired to care. Any omega that came close to him would get a strong telepathic message that this alpha was not one to bother today.

By the time he was closing in on campus, it was nearly 6AM. The early morning autumn air bit at his skin, his sweatshirt and jeans presenting light relief, though his mind was racing too much to truly be affected by the cold. 

Charles was _tired_. Traditionally, alphas were to immediately go to an omega’s family if the omega’s scent was as provoking as Erik’s was. It varied, now, of course, but a general action was at least making interest clear to the omega, who would usually have noticed the attraction and responded in kind.

Rather, Erik seemed resolutely content with staying as Charles’s _friend_.

Raven was infuriated at his inaction.

_“You realize that Erik’s an incredibly attractive omega?” she pressed. “And that any alpha can come and snatch him?”_

_Charles rolled his eyes, slightly irritated. “Erik would never date an alpha. Including me.”_

_“Before you two met, I thought Erik would have never been_ friends _with an alpha,” she huffed. “Now, look at you two!”_

_“Erik likes making a statement,” Charles corrected. “Both fortunate and unfortunately, I am the perfect alpha for the job.”_

_“You’re delusional.”_

_“I’m realistic.”_

_“Sebastian Shaw was talking about picking him up,” she blurted._

_Charles’s stomach twisted, and actual bile built up. “Erik would_ never — _”_

_“Either way, it’s not exactly safe for a single omega to be in Shaw’s sights, is it?” Raven snapped._

Charles’s frustration racketed. That conversation preceded their Saturday study night, so he knew that Erik would be with him that night, but his fear ( _his desire, his need for Erik to be safe_ ) overcame his morals, and he hunted down Shaw’s right-hand, Azazel, and gently probed his mind.

 _“Someone needs to teach that little bitch about proper submission,” Shaw was laughing, and Charles felt Azazel’s emotion rise_ — _recollection of Shaw’s stories, disgust at his treatment of omegas, fear of leaving_ — _and then Shaw said, “Far as I know, that ass is unknotted.”_

Charles had to restrain himself from hunting Shaw down, because what, then? Raven was going to tell Erik, who would hate Charles if he tried to protect him like he was some damsel in distress. Alternatively, Erik would want to try Shaw himself, but Shaw was different, and Erik could be so stubborn, and Charles only refrained himself from thinking of an excuse to walk Erik home after their studying because Azazel’s mind informed them that they were going to an out-of-town party all weekend. It would just be better if the news came from Raven, a beta, rather than from him — he just hoped Raven told Erik soon.

Groaning, Charles rubbed at his eyes, turning the corner to take one lap before going home, when he bumped into a solid body.

“So sorry,” he said absently, looking up, and—

“Charles,” Erik said.

Charles stared. “Erik.”

Erik’s cheeks were bit from the cold, a healthy red flush powdering his high cheekbones, and he was dressed lazily, as if he had, too, just rolled out of bed. He ran a hand through uncharacteristically messy hair, and then wet his pink lips, once, and Charles exhaled. He had never seen Erik in any state other than perfectly combed and dressed, yet Erik was still as stunningly and unfairly beautiful as he always was.

He felt a certain amount of vain embarrassment, as Erik had definitely never seen him in his present state, and he was certain that he lacked the natural beauty that Erik had.

“Erik!” he repeated, forcing a grin to spread across his cheeks. It was usually effortless with Erik, but the morning’s events weighed down on him.

Erik’s own tight smile seemed to be painted, as well, and Charles had to consciously quell down his worry. “Hello, Charles.”

“What are you doing out this early?” Charles asked, feigning curiosity, though he truthfully just wanted to drag Erik to his apartment and rut into him as he was doing to his hand this morning. 

Erik cleared his throat. “Morning run. What are you doing out? I was under the impression that you slept until noon on the weekends.”

Charles laughed, softly. “You’d be right about that, my friend. I just— I had trouble sleeping last night.”

Erik’s eyebrows furrowed. “Did I keep you up too late?”

 _I wish you did,_ Charles thought depressingly to himself.

“Not at all,” Charles assured tiredly. “It’s… Has Raven spoken to you?”

“Not since Thursday,” Erik said. “Is something wrong? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” said Charles hurriedly. “It’s actually… It’s about you, Erik.”

Erik arched an eyebrow, briefly, at that. “About me. What is it?”

Charles shoved his hands into his pockets, anxiety rising in his stomach. “Do you — Do you know Sebastian Shaw?”

Erik’s lip instantly curled. “Yes.”

Charles swallowed. “Raven heard that,” he weighed his words carefully, “that he was speaking about… propositioning you.”

Erik’s face went through a series of complicated emotions before settling on blank; Charles momentarily felt a desire to seek his thoughts himself, but Erik, for the past few months, recoiled from his telepathy as much as he did his scent.

Finally, Erik said, “Why are you telling me this?”

Charles sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I… I won’t lie. I was worried about you, Erik.”

“You think I can’t take care of myself?” Erik immediately snarled.

“I _know_ that you can take care of yourself,” Charles snapped back. “But I also know that Shaw is an extremely powerful and manipulative mutant who has many powerful friends.”

“I’m not scared of Shaw,” he scoffed.

Charles met his eyes. “You should be, Erik. He’s not a decent person.”

“Alphas generally aren’t,” Erik said instantly, then realization dawned on his face. He looked away; Charles’s jaw clenched. Erik was always ready to remind him that he had no chance with him.

The silence hung awkwardly.

“How do you even know that Shaw wants to _mount_ me?” Erik asked eventually. “Raven’s gotten gossip wrong before.”

Charles shifted. “I, uh. I checked. With a reliable source.”

Erik’s eyebrows jumped briefly. “You checked? With who?”

“Azazel,” Charles said hesitantly.

“You asked _Azazel_ if Shaw wanted to mount — ”

“I looked at his memories,” Charles cut him off, cheeks slightly flushed and itching. 

“And why did you do that?”

Charles made an exasperated noise. “Because you’re my friend, Erik.”

Erik’s lips twisted, and Charles was overcome with a sudden frustration — stemming entirely from Erik.

Frustration rising in him, as well, he roughed a hand through his hair before adding, stubbornly, “I’m not sorry that I did.”

“ _R_ _eally_?” drawled Erik. “You, powerful alpha telepath who likes to keep it all under wraps, are not sorry for going through his mind unwarranted?” Erik tsked. “You’re losing your touch, Charles.”

Charles stiffened. “I was trying to _help_ you.”

“And I don’t need your help!” Erik yelled. After a frozen moment in which Charles could do nothing but stare, Erik made an irritated noise before attempting to move past Charles. “I need to — I need to go, I need to clear my head — ” 

“ _No_ , not until you — ” Charles side-stepped and Erik barrelled into him, making Charles stumble before instantly pushing his arms out to catch the other, Erik making a surprised noise, and then — 

Charles’s cock hardened instantly.

It was a wonder that he hadn’t smelt it before — Erik was seemingly _doused_ in slick. With his hair under Charles’s nose and his body so close, his natural scent was strong but the smell of his slick was even stronger. Erik must’ve let _his own slick_ stay on his skin for _hours_ with the scent that strong. 

Abruptly, Charles realized his own unfortunate truth. He hadn’t cleaned his stomach. His cum was probably crusting away there, the smell marking him as if he was searching for a mate. And Erik’s chest was still crushed against his own.

They pushed away simultaneously, panting. Charles put all of his telepathic control into quelling down his erection, and felt a ridiculous amount of gratitude for his mutation as his cock limped.

Erik’s clear eyes were blown wide. Charles ignored his own embarrassment; they both were in the same boat, weren’t they?

Out of the awkward silences that ensued between them before, the following was by far the worst.

Charles, eventually, forced a laugh out. “God, this is humiliating, isn’t it?”

Erik was pale, and he was visibly collecting himself before the blurry edges straightened to a less sickly look and more of a vacant expression. Charles grasped for any hold on his surface emotions, to gauge whether making a quick escape or staying still and joking through it would make it easier, but he caught a whiff of Erik’s scent, instead, and he quieted himself, attempting to gain control — he put all of his strength into suppressing his hormones, firing off in the face of Erik’s arousal, which complimented his own growing need so nicely.

“Quite funny, too, however,” Charles soldiered on.

Erik was stiff. “Right.” He looked away. “Little omega Lehnsherr. Desperate for attention just like the stereotypes.” 

Charles’s arousal dimmed at Erik’s impression of him, and he gaped. “What? _No_. No, Erik, I mean — ”

“Well, you know that we don’t always want to smell _you_ fat-headed alphas, either?” Erik spat. “We don’t want to see you idiots fight, or stalk us, or meet your ridiculous standards — ”

“ _E_ _rik_ ,” Charles commanded, and Erik stopped talking, surprised and something else, something more flashing in his eyes. “I don’t think like that, I’ve never thought like that, and I’m offended you thought I ever would. I didn’t — I didn’t do this to attract omegas.”

Erik stared at him. Then, unsurely, “I didn’t do _this_ to attract alphas.”

Charles chuckled, dryly. “Yes, I could’ve guessed that.”

Erik’s hackles raised. “What does that mean?” he demanded.

“You don’t make it a secret that you have a certain distaste for alphas, Erik,” Charles continued calmly, though his heart twinged. “It’s clear that you don’t want to be Marked.”

Erik continued to stare at him.

Charles huffed quietly. “It’s funny, by the way, because of the fact that both of us did... this and then bumped into each other.” _It’s almost like fate_ , a voice whispered, and Charles internally scoffed at its naivety.

Erik was still staring.

Charles, unwilling to prolong the awkward silence and wanting to just go home and avoid society for a while, inhaled loudly. “Well. Anyways. I think I should head back. Sunday doesn’t last forever. I — I know you can take care of yourself but please, please keep an eye out for Shaw. That’s all. Good bye, Erik.”

As soon as he was turning to leave, Erik made a noise. “I don’t — I haven’t sworn against getting Marked, Charles,” he said, and his tone was strained.

Uninvited, Charles’s earlier fantasies flooded his thoughts, and suddenly Erik was much too close, as Charles was definitely compromised when thinking of the omega on his knees in bed, and Charles being compromised generally led to Charles projecting.

“I think the entire ordeal is ridiculously outdated and mostly just alpha-fodder, now,” Erik continued blithely, “but… There’s an appeal.”

Charles’s heart was stuttering. “You— You think there’s an… An appeal.”

Erik was completely still. “Yes.” Charles's heart sped up, and _yes_ , if there was a chance, even the _slightest one_ , with Erik, Charles was going to be the first alpha to take it — “In the instinctual, biology-driven way,” Erik added.

Charles stiffened.

Erik was pointedly looking at Charles's eyebrows rather than his eyes. “I'm not someone for… sentiment, or tradition, but it. It'd have to be someone I felt an instant connection to. Like in those _ridiculous_ fairy tales.”

Charles felt something in his chest _snap._ God, was this a… Did Erik _know_? Did he know how Charles felt? Was he attempting to let him down, in a nice way, as he had never done to any other alpha before? Was this Erik attempting to give a _nice_ rejection in face of Charles's feelings?

If so, Charles thought, he didn't want it. He would rather Erik throw the words in his face, _I would never let you Mark me,_ so that Charles could cling to that anger rather than this _pity_.

“I would have to find the right alpha,” Erik continued quietly. He seemed to be trying to have a brave stance, though he kept faltering. “I would have to find someone who… understood.”

Charles felt bile coming up. 

“An alpha who would like my unconventional omega,” Erik said. _That's_ me, Charles wanted to scream, but then Erik was finally looking back to Charles, expression inscrutable. “And an alpha that my omega liked back.”

 _Not me_.

It happened before Charles could control it. Something that Erik would detest, something that indicated dominance and anger, something that hadn't happened since Charles very first presented.

Charles, involuntarily, _growled_ , low and predatory and possessive, and implying uncontrolled _rut_.

Erik flinched. Charles, through his heartache and fury, felt himself go white.

“I'm… I'm so sorry, Erik, I don't know what came over me,” he instantly said, but Erik was staring at him, shocked and— and _betrayed_. “I didn't mean to — It wasn't like — ”

Erik shook his head. A nasty twist was placed on his pink lips. “I don't care, Charles. You're an alpha, it's what you do.”

Charles felt guilt and annoyance and _hurt_ wrestle in his stomach. “That's not true, Erik, you know that I would never — ”

“A lot of alphas would never do something until they do it,” Erik interrupted. He was still shaking his head as he started to back away. “I'll take my chances with Shaw.”

It was as if Erik slapped him. Charles stilled, and only watched Erik run away.

He felt his chest hollow out.


	2. Chapter 2

“This is ridiculous,” Raven huffed.

Charles pushed his noodles around. 

“Charles,” she said. 

He stared concentratedly at his food.

“Charles,” she snapped.

He looked up.

“You’re acting like you were _bonded_ with him.”

Charles’s stomach twisted. He stood up, moving his plate to the sink.

Raven soldiered on. “I mean, you only spoke to him, what? Twice a week?”

They spoke at least seven times a week over text, which was always an easier way to speak with Erik for Charles, as there were no distracting scents involved. Or round arses. Or piercing eyes.

Charles tightened his grip on the sink.

“Charles,” Raven said, tone softer. “Why don’t you call him?”

He laughed, hoarsely. “He made it _abundantly_ clear that he wants nothing to do with me.”

“I highly doubt that,” muttered Raven. Louder, she continued, “Are you at least going to Emma’s party? Get some fresh air.”

Charles shook his head, once. “I have a paper to finish this weekend.”

Raven grinned. “Good thing it’s tonight, then.”

He sighed. “Raven, please. I’m not — This is just temporary, alright? Besides, my rut is coming up, and you know I always get agitated then. I don’t want to make a scene in public.”

“Take suppressants, then,” she scoffed. “Or find an omega to spend it with.”

_I don’t want just any omega._

Raven winced in pity. Ah. He projected.

He moved to the living room. “I’m going to be fine. Once I notice I’m getting all aggressive-like, I’ll take suppressants, and then I’ll feel better once the rut is out of my system.”

She followed him. “Okay, fine! But I’d still recommend going. Erik’s going to be there — I saw Janos convincing him.”

Charles froze. He spun to look at her. “Janos?”

She frowned. “Yeah. Quested. Why?”

 _Azazel’s memories._

After a long moment, Charles said, “I’ll be there.”

Raven brightened. “Awesome!”

“Now get out, I really do have to start working on a paper,” he huffed, and she pouted exaggeratedly before easily leaving.

Mind far away from any assignment, Charles sunk into his couch and _ached_ , as he had been doing for the past couple of weeks, ever since Erik…

Charles felt a familiar migraine spread from his forehead and wrap around his temples. 

_Erik_.

—

“Xavier!” A drunk beta cheered as soon as Charles entered Emma Frost’s sprawling, modern home. “Hey, buddy!”

Charles sent a tight-lipped smile before reinforcing his shields. Weaving through the thick crowd, humming with over-eager scents, so many alphas and omegas neglecting scent coverings in search of a match, Charles regretted not bringing a nose clip. He had to dodge more than a few eager omegas’ hands on his way to the kitchen, which was full but considerably less so than the foyer and living rooms.

 _Charles._ “Charles.”

Charles spun around. Emma Frost, probably the most intimidating alpha on campus, was watching him intently. 

“Hello, Emma,” he greeted wearily.

“I had it on good word that you wouldn’t be here tonight,” she said idly, as she walked to the island and started pouring him a drink. “I was looking forward to not having to share the telepath-freaky omegas.”

Charles’s lips twitched. “I’m not looking for any action, tonight.” A curious thought probed at his mind, but he just shook his head. “Nothing to worry about, love.”

She arched an eyebrow, passing his drink over. “I always worry about you. If you’re not looking for any, what are you doing here?”

Charles took a long sip of his drink, then thought _fuck it_ , which made Emma’s eyebrow go up again, momentarily.

“Erik Lehnsherr.”

She stilled, just for a moment. “Hm,” she murmured. “I _have_ heard recently that there’s been some trouble in blue balls paradise.”

Charles felt a muted anger at that belittlement of Erik, though he couldn’t say much as he had countlessly teased Emma for going after Raven for a period of time. “Where exactly are all of your ears supposedly stationed?” he asked instead.

She wasn’t deterred. “So. You’re looking for him to apologize or to mount?”

“Neither,” Charles said. “I’m just here to see him.”

Emma stared for a moment, in that telepath way that Charles has been called out on before, before sighing. “You’re a telepath, Charles. Why do you insist on not using your powers?”

Charles took another sip of his drink. 

She pursed her lips. “You’re the only asshole who can ignore me, you know. I just don’t want your freaky head invading mine.” Charles laughed, surprised. “Have a good night, Charles. Good luck with your omega.”

 _Your omega._ Charles’s chest ached as he nodded at her.

The house held hundreds of people, minds piling upon minds, Charles’s range encompassing the neighbors’ house, where the mutually soundproof walls protected them from the pounding music of Emma’s. The minds themselves pounded on Charles’s brain, the strong emotions muddled with alcohol and drugs, but Charles built up his shields. He would roam the party, but he wasn’t going to use his powers on Erik. Not after the omega showed such a distaste for it before they stopped speaking.

Taking the rest of his drink in one go, Charles set off to go through the crowd, nose pointed to try and find Erik’s distinct scent among the empowering scents of the others. A couple of drunk alphas growled lowly at him, many of all genders attempted to approach him, but Charles weaved through the crowd with a single-minded focus, endangered by his growing frustration. There were too many other bodies, their scents overlapping, that even Erik’s would get lost — and he could be on the second floor, outside, or not here at all.

Charles, belatedly, realized that Janos was the one who invited Erik. Cursing himself, Charles pushed his way to the nearest wall and brought a hand to his temple to aid in focusing on Janos’s mind amongst the others. As all mutants’ minds are prone to do, Janos’s stood out amongst the others.

Charles eased his way into it, shutting his eyes, and sees everything.

 _Outside. An upstairs patio. The perfect viewpoint of the back garden and Janos is panicked, Janos is disturbed, Janos is upset_ — Lehnsherr is one of us, it’s not right to target him if he won’t go with Sebastian — _Janos sees Shaw now, exiting the house, sees Lehnsherr’s stiff posture,_ — this won’t end well —

Charles’s mind hopped to hover over Shaw’s, and he exhaled as he concentrated on being undetectable by the powerful mutant. Shaw’s mind is gnarly, grim and the epitome of alpha rage, scratching at the confines set by modern society, and, upon touching it, Charles felt the disgust that Erik must feel whenever he came across a self-absorbed alpha.

It took careful maneuvering until Charles could piggy-back Shaw’s consciousness, and their senses intertwined. 

Instantly, Charles felt Shaw’s hunger. Shaw found Erik’s scent — _so wrong from this nose, smells distant and sweet, like a prize rather than the belonging that Charles smelled_ — provocative, sensuous, and he thought Erik’s attitude needed to be corrected, thought that his knot could do the job — and he’d been watching Erik, watching him since the omega was a freshman and talked back at him, and Shaw just _knows_ Erik’s never been knotted before, can’t have been, except maybe Xavier, but _no_ , Shaw thinks this ass was made just for him— _The back garden. Lehnsherr is staring out at the distant city lights, his usual attitude absent, making Shaw’s job easier but less fun, and Shaw eyes his ass before standing next to Lehnsherr and gently sniffing the air_ —

Charles opened his eyes. He was already standing at the back door, hand hovering over the handle.

With a clear perspective, Charles felt his alpha claw at his chest with barely concealed hatred as Shaw clearly marked his territory by circling Erik, subtly, and Charles wanted to yell because Erik would usually have Shaw tied up in a tree, by then, yet — Erik looked tired. Erik looked alert. Erik’s eyes casually zeroed in on Janos’s position, on two other high points, near some bushes, and Charles understood. Erik knew he was being cornered, by mutant alphas and betas, and he was strategizing.

His mind warred with his chest. _Erik would hate me_ , he repeated rationally. _Erik already hates me_ , he argued. _Erik would never speak to me again_ , he repeated rationally. _You could never walk away from this_ ; he knew.

He was walking to the two of them before he could stop himself.

He was still yards away when Erik’s eyes flew to him, presumably from his scent. His face was inscrutable, and it took Shaw’s irritated mind spiking before the alpha turned and saw Charles. Charles wanted nothing more than to make the alpha collapse where he stood, but he really didn’t want to have to deal with the five other mutants that were responding to the man — not to mention that Erik would never forgive him.

If he even has.

“Erik,” Charles said smoothly, and he would love to slip into his mind, but he really doesn’t want to dig a deeper grave for himself. He’ll just wing it — how bad could it go?

“Charles,” Erik replied, and he had a single eyebrow raised. Charles raised one back, and a hint of amusement rose in Erik’s eyes.

Shaw turned, in one motion, and a perfectly-pasted smile stretched across his features. “Xavier,” he cheered. Charles caught his passing thoughts easily: _telepath, alpha, not a threat, sleeps around too much, omega rights idiot, won’t even use his powers._

Oh, but what would Charles _not_ do for Erik Lehnsherr?

Charles ignored him. “Erik,” he repeated. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

Erik’s eyebrow arched briefly, as if to say _oh, that’s how this is going_ , and then annoyance crossed his features — leaving Charles completely unsure about whether it was genuine or not. Probably the former.

“I’m having a drink,” Erik said, vaguely, gesturing with his solo cup. “With Sebastian here.”

Charles contained his frustration, but only barely — he should’ve known that Erik would never play the part of the chastened omega following an alpha just because they growled, and definitely not in front of Sebastian Shaw, even if it made things easier.

Shaw’s eyes flew between the two of them, mind working a mile-a-minute, and Charles felt grim at the cheery resolution he set on the way he saw this playing out. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Shaw asked, his stance morphing into something uncharacteristic — awkward, and anxious, as if he was unsure about his position. Charles knew damn well that the alpha was exactly where he wanted to be. _Defend Lehnsherr, knock Xavier on his ass, comfort Lehnsherr, get him drunk, take him home_ —

“Yes,” Charles snapped, fury clawing at his stomach. 

“No,” Erik replied.

Shaw chuckled, all nervous, while his mind showed the literal epitome of a smug asshole. 

Charles’s disgust was legitimate as he looked at Shaw. “Erik, will you just come with me?”

“Why should I?” Erik asked evenly, and Charles finally caught on, he didn’t even have to read his mind — Erik was confident in the situation, now, he had Charles there, and he knew that the two of them could overpower the mutants surrounding them, but he wasn’t about to look weak and he wasn’t about to let the opportunity of clowning _Sebastian Shaw_ go.

Erik tilted his head, lightly, to the side. Charles’s chest warmed, despite it all — despite his stupid growl, despite Erik knowing about his feelings for him and rejecting him, despite the whole mess itself.

“Because I’m sorry,” Charles said, and it took every ounce of control to maintain his _intimidatingalphagrowlgrrr_ expression. “Though I believe that I already apologized.”

Shaw’s mind piqued with actual curiosity — _Is Lehnsherr still a knot-virgin?_ “Hey, guys, I’m sure that we can figure something out here,” he said, with an easy smile, “what happened?”

“A misunderstanding,” Erik said, leaning back against the railing. “About Charles’s loyalties.”

Charles almost laughed, because _oh_ , that’s where Erik was taking it — a common enough rumor, Charles’s promiscuousness, but if it wasn’t Erik saying it to _Shaw_ , Charles might have felt stung. “Hardly,” he scoffed. It took a moment’s self-questioning before he added, knowing it would lure Shaw in, “More about Erik’s… _boundaries_.”

Erik’s eyes flashed, and Charles almost winced, but then his features turned into a fake upset that Charles knew Erik would never _actually_ express; he was going to play along for now.

Shaw’s mind related sympathy — _Poor Xavier, blue balls with this tight, little omega, he couldn’t have known, the idiot_ — before springing up in glee — _he’s still a knot-virgin, he’s gotta be, and he’s gonna be mine by tonight, fuck, yes._

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shaw asked, leaning in, _concerned._

Charles rolled his eyes, and Erik’s lips twitched. “It means he won’t bend over, already,” Charles said, all brazen and idiotic, “after I’ve done all sorts of shit for him.”

Erik opened his mouth, but Shaw beat him to the cut, and Charles wanted to laugh because if this was authentic, Erik would probably beat _both_ of them to a pulp after Shaw tried to defend him.

“Now, watch yourself, Xavier,” Shaw said, all fake indignancy. “As far as I know, it’s not up to you about what Erik wants to do with his body.”

Erik’s face had a hint of disdain as he said, compliantly, “ _Exactly_ , Charles. You knew that about me.”

Charles stepped into Erik’s space, mentally rolling his eyes. Erik’s gaze had a slight glimmer of hysterics. “What I _know_ is that you’re coming with me. Right now.”

Shaw stepped between them. “He’s staying where he is, Xavier.” He dropped a hand to Erik’s on the railing. “Isn’t that right, Erik?”

And Charles.

Charles tried to stop it.

He did, he really did. It’s simply out of his control. 

Charles growled.

Erik stiffened, and Shaw’s eyes widened, but his fucking hand was still on Erik’s, on _Charles’s omega_ , and if he didn’t take it off—

“Take your hands off him,” he growled, deeper, “and _leave_ before I shut down every single working cell in your body.”

Shaw’s eyes flew to where his companions were supposed to be, but Charles, with a single dismissive thought, had the four of them decide to leave the party. Shaw watched them leave, looked back at Charles, then snarled, his hand tightening on Erik’s. Erik was staring at Charles.

“Xavier, I don’t know what you think you’re — ”

Charles arched an eyebrow. “You were saying?”

Shaw’s lips wouldn’t move. The man was purpling in anger, but his mind spiked with fear.

“ _Leave_ ,” Charles commanded, and Shaw left.

Once his mind was blended deep in with the others, Charles slowly looked back at Erik.

The mutant’s face was inscrutable. 

Charles looked back down.

Erik cleared his throat; Charles’s head shot up to see him squinting around the yard, then decisively taking Charles’s hand and leading him to the house.

“Erik — ” 

“Shut the hell up, Charles,” said Erik instantly.

Charles shut up. He ached to use his powers to feel Erik’s surface emotions, just to know where this was going, but he refused to dig his grave deeper, and outwardly, Erik was unreadable. It was a trip marked distinctly by the number of curious thoughts directed at them, Erik’s insistent tugging, and Charles’s own burning curiosity. Finally, Erik chose a door within Emma’s enormous house — it was a bathroom, big and extravagant and surprisingly empty.

He pulled Charles into it, before shutting the door. Charles willed himself to not get aroused, being alone in a bathroom with Erik, who was gazing at him with his entire attention.

When the silence became too much for Charles to bear, he cleared his throat. “Erik — ”

“Why didn’t you use your powers?”

Charles blinked. He didn’t expect that.

“What do you mean?” he asked slowly.

Erik looked impatient. “With Shaw. Why didn’t you talk to me telepathically?”

Charles was at a loss for words. “I — Because.”

Erik arched an eyebrow. “Because…?”

“I — ” Charles stopped. Slumped. “I believed that I had lost that right.” 

Silence echoed after that, a tension-filled silence that had a sickeningly anticipatory thrill traveling up Charles’s spine. His stomach twisted as much as his heart pounded.

“And why,” Erik abruptly demanded, “do you keep _growling_?”

The bluntness of the question hit Charles’s hard, and he barked out a surprised laugh. Erik’s determination didn’t waver.

“You’re an annoying alpha,” Erik ignored him, “but you’re a _behaved_ annoying alpha. I’ve seen an omega present her neck to you days before your rut, and you didn’t react aside from an ‘excuse me’. Why did you growl?”

“Oh, my friend,” Charles said, his laughter still high in his eyes but with a deprecating twist. “That one’s entirely on you..”

A fever of high embarrassment sparked in Erik’s mind, unignorable. “Right,” he nodded, “because I provoked you.”

Charles was confused until their prior encounter rung through his head. “What? No!” he exclaimed. Then, “Well, _yes_ , but not because of — ”

Erik’s eyebrows furrowed. 

Charles’s mouth couldn’t form the words that he needed to say. Erik _knew_ , didn’t he? That was why he rejected Charles so gently last time.

“You know why, Erik,” Charles said quietly.

Erik looked at him, incredulously. “ _No_ , Charles, I do not. I thought — ” He shook his head, looking away.

Charles’s telepathy ached to reach out. “What?”

Erik’s eyes shot back up at him; they looked determined. Erik took a step forward, into Charles’s space, and Charles didn’t back down.

“I thought that you wanted to know what I thought about Marking because you _wanted to know_ ,” murmured Erik, and it was the strangest wording, but Charles’s stomach twisted, turned, and he wet his lips.

Erik’s eyes stayed determinedly on his own.

“I,” Charles whispered, “I wanted to know.”

A beat.

Erik moved forward, and Charles met him halfway. 

Their lips pressed against each other — _finally, finally, finally_ — and Charles instantly groaned, Erik making a noise from the back of his throat, their lips blending into one another’s in a flood of heat and then Erik’s mind pressed, _pushed,_ against Charles’s and Charles opened the gates and Erik’s burning _desire_ filled every crevice of his attention, fully, untameable, while his mouth opened under Charles’s, their tongues meeting in the middle in the way that they always do. Erik moaned, quietly, into Charles’s mouth, and Charles felt his entire core _heat_ , consuming, mindless arousal burning up his body and his cock thickening faster than ever before because, _fucking hell, this was Erik Lehnsherr_ —

Erik’s hands flew up to grasp Charles’s head, always so controlling, and Charles’s hands rubbed over Erik’s shoulders, down his muscled back, and gripped Erik’s criminally tiny waist, holding it tightly to his own body, pulling Erik in. Erik’s entire body leaned into his, pushing into his space, just as his tongue was doing, and Charles wanted to— to fuse them, in any way possible, to make this feeling the only feeling that they both experienced forever because this was— this was lust, heat, desire, anger, frustration, _dissatisfaction_ —

From Erik.

Charles pulled away, harshly, detaching himself from Erik entirely, who stumbled back. They had migrated deeper into Erik’s space, and Erik’s back hit the door in his stupor. Charles shook his head, trying to shake off the burning need his alpha felt for Erik, the feeling of crawling hands clawing at his mind to grab Erik. 

_Unsatisfactory_.

“God, Erik,” Charles cursed, “what the hell was that?”

Erik’s breaths came out short, uncontrolled, before his open, aroused expression was shut away into a facsimile of his utmost anger. “I think it was pretty obvious what it was, _alpha_.”

Charles grit his teeth down, hard, through his panting. “You’re an asshole.”

Erik looked threatening, though he was still leaning on the door for support, catching his breath. “I wasn’t the only one kissing,” he said lowly.

“No, you were just the only one who’s sending— _beyond_ mixed signals,” said Charles, his breath finally coming to him, but he still felt empty. Erik was so close, Charles could smell his scent so vividly, but the fresh rejection was still weighing him down.

Erik's rejection, whose expression was rapidly changing from angry to confused.

After a moment, he finally snapped, “What?”

Charles looked away. “You said you didn't want that. You practically screamed it. I don’t know why you’re doing— _this_ , but it’s an asshole move.”

Erik’s body was suddenly back in motion, all anxious movements. “What the hell are you on about, Charles?”

Charles finally looked him in the eye, to display his incredulity. “I’m talking about how you’d only want to be with an alpha who you feel _connected to_. I don’t want a pity fuck, Erik, not even from you.”

Erik’s eyes searched his, and Charles didn’t have to delve even in his surface thoughts to know the amount of confusion that was clouding Erik’s mind. Perhaps as a side effect, Charles felt himself growing confused, as well. How did Erik not get what he was fucking saying? They had stopped talking for _weeks_ over that damn conversation. Did Erik truly not care that much?

“Goddamn it,” Erik snapped. He moved in an instant, grabbing one of Charles’s hands and pressing it to his temple. “Read my mind.”

Charles reeled back. “What?”

“Show me what that conversation meant to you,” Erik said, impatiently. “And I’ll show you what it meant to me.”

Charles hesitated before Erik gripped his hand tighter. “Charles _. Do it._ ”

After only one more second’s pause, long enough to see Erik’s expression turn murderous, Charles shut his eyes and delved into Erik’s mind.

 _Charles’s scent, want it, want it all, want it on me, want him in me_ — _He must’ve been pulling one off, just now, it’s so strong on him, it’s like he was rolling in it_ — _Wanna be angry, wanna be indignant, wanna tell him to fuck off like any other alpha, but it’s_ Charles _, and his scent is so fucking_ — _He thinks I hate all alphas, I do, but Charles is_ Charles _, and fucking hell, if he asked enough, my neck, my Marking gland, it’s_ his _, I’m_ his — _I’m rambling, but it’s all true, and holy fucking hell, I can’t believe I’m doing this, I’m being too obvious, he’s gonna reject me_ — _I’m a goddamn idiot, all alphas are fucking idiots, he growled, of course he growled, he doesn’t want to hear a stupid omega pining over him, I’m so_ stupid—

Charles pulled from Erik’s mind, careful but still reeling from shock.

Erik was staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth parted.

“Erik,” Charles said hoarsely.

It took a second before Erik wet his lips, once. “Charles,” he breathed back.

It took less than a second before Charles had Erik pressed against the door, and their lips were back to ravishing one another’s. 

“Fuck,” Erik exhaled, winding his fingers in Charles’s hair. His whole body was stretching into Charles, his hard lines pressing against Charles’s own, and Charles _wanted_ , so badly that he felt like he could die.

“Erik,” Charles muttered, intoxicated, as Erik pressed his lips against his again, both of them needy beyond measure. Charles caught Erik’s jaw, holding him in place so that he could kiss him just _so_ — Erik’s mouth opened so easily, so contradictory to everything Erik Lehnsherr, and Charles cursed, the kiss turning from pure desperation to rough need.

Erik hardly yielded completely. Minutes — _seconds, maybe, perhaps hours or days, everything was getting blurry_ — into their assault of one another’s lips, Erik made a loud noise of frustration, and pressed his hands against Charles’s chest. Charles immediately cut himself off, but he stayed in close distance.

“What?” he said, eyes straying to Erik’s bare neck. He tried to ignore the word that possessed his mind at the thought of Erik’s Marking gland.

Erik ignored him, pushing past him to push himself up on the vanity counter. He leaned back, Charles watching as the cords of his muscled arms stretched.

He spread his legs.

Charles mentally brought up complex equations to solve, and hoped he didn’t look too much like an over-eager teenager who wanted to touch everything as soon as possible. Judging by Erik’s twitching lips, he didn’t succeed.

“Charles,” Erik said.

Charles was in between his legs in an instant, leaning in, settling his arms to cage in Erik’s hips, which were subtly bucking up. Charles drew a reverent hand up Erik’s arm, Erik exhaling shakily in his ear. Charles leaned in further, tilting his head to the side.

There it was.

“Your scent,” Charles muttered, quietly, into Erik’s skin under his ear. His hand traveled to Erik’s back, circling patterns. “It’s more intoxicating than anything in this entire universe, Erik. I can’t get enough of it. You— You distract me endlessly. You’re constantly on my mind.”

“Charles,” Erik repeated. His arms were shaking. Charles’s hand wrapped around the back of Erik’s neck. The muscles there tensed, once, before going pliant. His head tilted back.

“It’s _everything_ ,” Charles said, and he placed his face right into the juncture where neck met shoulder. Erik keened. “I want to taste you. I want to taste all of you. Let me taste you, please, Erik? Please, let me just— let me— ”

“You have me,” Erik said, head rolling forward, arms lifting to wrap around Charles’s shoulders. A strange twist of a hug, where Charles kept his nose where Erik’s scent was strongest, and Erik’s face planted itself into Charles’s hair. “God, you have me— You’ve— You’ve always had me, and I fucking— I don’t know _why,_ except that you’re an infuriating little asshole — ”

Charles snorted, but a smile was stretching over his features haplessly.

“But I don’t care anymore,” Erik added breathlessly. “I just — I want you. I want all of you. Charles.”

Charles pulled back, meeting Erik’s dark eyes that held only a hint of fervent desperation amidst the burning desire. 

“You have it all,” Charles whispered.

“ _A_ _ll_ of it,” Erik murmured, leaning his forehead against Charles’s own.

Charles wanted to pull away, but he couldn’t. This was the only place he wanted to be. “You don’t want that,” he muttered.

“I do,” Erik said, simultaneously soft and angry, in a peculiar Lehnsherr-unique way. “I want _all of you_ , Charles. Give me it _all_.”

Charles was going to hold onto his fight until he realized he was fighting for no one. Erik wanted it. All of it. If Charles gave him all of it, they’d connect deeper than Charles ever had before. Erik may leave.

But maybe Erik would want to stay.

Charles shut his eyes. He let down his shields. A two-way communication system.

 _Finally_ , was the resounding thought in Erik's head, followed by a strangely affectionate irritation with Charles for thinking he'd want him any other way than whole. Charles's sharp surprise sent through, and Erik mentally sighed and shook him.

Outwardly, Erik let out a little huff of air. “There,” he said, stubborn smugness in his tone, and Charles was going to tell him off but Erik was already tilting his chin out, and then their lips caught, and Charles forgot all about anything except the way that Erik's lips tasted. ,

Erik moaned, quietly, as Charles trailed kisses along his jaw, nipping as he went, before dragging his lips back to Erik's. Erik's scent filled his senses, and Charles's cock twitched, gaining blood as Erik’s gorgeous, perfect, amazing scent took dominance over the room, and Charles felt possessed as he watched his hands move to grip Erik’s hips, locking him tighter into his hold. He felt positively high when Erik only made a breathy noise, his hips shifting up and down in place.

“Fuck, Erik,” Charles cursed, and then he was pressing his hands up, under Erik’s t-shirt, moving fervently across his toned stomach, his hot skin, warm under Charles’s ministrations, and Erik moved closer into him, arching his back, their lips still tangled together, hardly breaking apart to breathe. Erik’s fingers found their way back into Charles’s hair, gripping it tightly, and he moved Charles’s head around until he could slide his tongue in just the way that he wanted to. Charles groaned, edging his hands down Erik’s waist, past his lower back, down to—

“ _Charles,_ ” Erik breathed out, but his mind, clouded with lust, screamed, _alpha_.

Charles wasn’t sure what his own mind looked like to Erik, but Erik was panting, heavily, shoving Charles’s shirt open, so he must’ve found something about it appealing.

“I need — ” Erik cut himself off, his thoughts tinged with frustration as he gripped Charles’s bare shoulders. “I need you — ” 

Charles slid a hand to the front of Erik’s pants, groping his way zealously down to the considerable bulge. Erik moaned, long and high, and Charles grinned into the kiss.

“Shut up,” hissed Erik, but he was leaning up, hips into Charles’s palm wantonly. Charles only laughed, having his fingers play patterns across Erik’s crotch, teasing the zipper down, his tongue — in lack of a more delicate term — fucking its way in and out of Erik’s mouth.

 _Delicate_? Erik mentally snorted.

Charles startled back, and Erik took the moment to full advantage by pulling Charles’s zipper down.

“God, you can’t just — ”

“Communicate with you telepathically?” asked Erik, archly. Charles glared, half-heartedly. “I’m not scared of you, Charles,” he stated matter-of-factly, before promptly pulling Charles’s boxers down and wrapping a firm grip around his cock’s base.

Charles’s arms flew forward, and he caught himself on the counter’s edge. Erik grinned, his touch igniting sparks across Charles’s body with a much larger impact than him stroking his cock.

“Maybe you should be,” Charles gritted out, propping himself with one hand, the other traveling to Erik’s cock, and Erik’s eyes glazed over.

There was too much, after that, to speak — too much desperation, their hands moving frantically over each other, so their minds breathed their burning need to one another, the intensity of their touch racketing up as they panted into each other’s mouths, their scents intertwining until the most delicious aroma Charles had ever smelled was effused in the air, so strongly that you couldn’t breathe without tasting that overwhelming scent. 

Charles was distracted between rutting into Erik’s grip and concentrating on his own on Erik’s cock, but one of Erik’s recurring thoughts pierced his mind repeatedly until he couldn’t ignore it any longer— ‘ _F_ _inally’, what?_ He projected, his genuine curiosity somewhat hidden beneath the layers of cloudy lust.

Erik jumped a bit, and Charles cursed until he felt Erik shake his head from where it was buried in Charles’s shoulder. After a second, Erik, somewhat shakily, projected, _It’s not_ — _not that, just_ — _look_.

Charles wasn’t going to question Erik because he knew that the omega would most likely stop jerking him off if he did, so he delved into Erik’s surface thoughts moments later.

 _Oh, god, I was thinking ‘finally’ too loud, how humiliating_ — _No, he’s so stupid, god, I hate him, why do I want to suck his cock so bad_ — Charles made a noise, and Erik’s mind sparked with humor — _I’m gonna have to tell him, shit_ —

“I’ve thought about this so much,” Erik murmured, his voice throaty from his moans, and Charles swallowed, dryly. “About it so— _so_ much, and— Charles, that morning, when we ran into each other — ”

Floods of fantasies filled Charles’s head, unabridged, ones that— they aligned with Charles’s own so well, they were like following a script, they were— they were Erik’s fantasies, they were what he was thinking about that morning, when— 

_The pillow was a ghost of what Charles's groin would feel like,_ Erik fantasized, and Charles saw the gorgeous image of Erik rubbing hard against his pillow _. Charles's actual cock, how it would strain against his slacks, fighting the material to get to Erik's quivering hole. And though his cock would be fighting to get to Erik, Charles himself would look controlled as he ever did, watching as Erik humped his body. Erik's ass clenched and tightened at the thought, at the mere idea of Charles's body underneath his own — willing but not pliant, being used in the way that made Erik most submissive._

“Me, too,” Charles hissed, and he closed his mouth over Erik’s while he let his fantasies pour into Erik, and Erik — 

_Erik on his back, his legs wide open_ — Erik’s legs opened impossibly wider— _and he was staring up at Charles, eyes hooded but alert, his hands obediently to his sides, his lips parted, and Charles wanted to lick every single part of him, up and down, wanted to suck bites into Erik’s neck, wanted to_ —

Erik’s head laid to the side, and his neck was bare. 

“ _Alpha_.”

Charles sunk his teeth in centimeters away from Erik’s Marking gland. Erik’s body arched, his mind exploded with his pleasure, and Charles followed him over the edge, mouth whispering, “ _Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine_ — ” into the skin of Erik’s shoulder until the flashing lights amidst their shared mind abated.

It was an eternal few minutes before Erik made a noise. Instantly, Charles reeled back, but Erik’s legs had them entangled, and Charles nearly fell over his own heels. Erik brought his legs back to himself, eyeing Charles.

Charles, highly aware of his softening cock that was still out, gave him a weak smile.

Their minds were still entangled as their legs were, and Erik’s mind burst with fond affection, while he outwardly frowned, rolling his eyes. “Alphas,” he said with a grimace.

Charles tried to mentally retreat, but Erik rolled his eyes, _harder_ , and slid off of the counter with enviable grace, tucking himself into his boxers simultaneously, and moved to stand in front of Charles.

“Charles,” he said sternly.

“Erik,” Charles said.

“Stop doing that,” Erik demanded.

Charles finally tucked himself in (Erik’s lips twitched; Charles sent a half-hearted glare), and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Erik,” he repeated. “What did this mean?”

Erik’s eyebrows furrowed, and his mind, for the first time during the night, retreated a bit. 

“I don’t usually— I mean, a lot of others like my telepathy for sex, but I don’t do what we just… did. I just enhance their pleasure, I don’t— _join our minds_. And that was great for sex, sure, because we had a single focus, but outside of it, it’s not as… nice.” Charles looked down, before looking back up. “And that’s me. I’m great in separate parts, but altogether…”

Erik shook his head.

“Erik, you don’t even _like_ alphas,” argued Charles, some irritation rising again.

“Have you not been in my mind?” Erik demanded. “We just jerked each other off while _thinking_ at each other. I _like_ you just fine, Charles. I’ve liked you since we first met and I had to ignore your _damned_ scent. I’ve always wanted you, but that’s not _it_. I — ” he faltered, but, with Erik, he never faltered for long, “ — _met_ you, and you were a mutant, and an activist, and even with your stupid mutant political opinions, you weren’t an _asshole_.”

Charles shook his head. “I’m not the only not-an-asshole-alpha, Erik.”

Erik gave him a look that read something along the lines of _yes, you are_ , before he said, “Stop ignoring what I’m saying, _asshole_. You were fucking _sweet_ , stupidly smart, funny, and a lot of other generic compliments, okay? Besides that, I couldn’t ignore your scent forever.” Charles felt his heart beat irregularly; he wondered if Erik could feel the iron in his blood pulsing as it was. Erik exhaled, slowly. “It’s… It’s distracting.”

Charles licked his lips. “Yours is much more, trust me.”

Erik looked away. “Well?” he asked, somewhat reluctant.

“What?” Charles asked dumbly.

Erik’s eyes snapped to him, incredulously. “I just told you what this meant to me. It’s _your_ turn.”

Charles’s lips twitched into a smile, and Erik squinted. Charles edged his arms tentatively around Erik’s narrow waist, and Erik tensed. Charles waited, and then Erik melted into his arms.

They were _hugging_. Charles felt himself grin stupidly.

“I want you, too,” he murmured. “Entirely.”

Erik breathed out a half-relieved, half-smug sigh. Charles didn't think it was possible. “Okay,” he nodded.

They stood in each other’s arms for a few more suspended minutes before Erik said, into Charles’s hair, “If you ever go all growly alpha on me, again, though, I’m dropping you for Emma Frost.”

Charles laughed because he knew that Erik was telling the absolute truth, and Charles knew that that’s why he was in love with Erik. Erik smiled widely into Charles’s hair.

It was almost as intoxicating as Erik’s scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! i hope it was worth it! this is also another first in writing smut for me, so please excuse any awkward writing :) i'm not sure whether this series will have a third installment, but it may, so if you're interested, make sure to keep an eye out! i love these emotional messy boys so much
> 
> thanks for reading - kudos and comments are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> :0 next chapter out soon.


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